There’s only 62 days until The Bachelor is back in our lives (that’s right, we get to start our New Year off on the right foot by drinking absurd amounts of red wine and rank women based on their dresses and ability to hide their drunkenness) and the first promotional picture of our new leading man, Nick V, has arrived.
ABC went with the obvious “Fourth times the charm,” tagline for Nick (#Bachelorette10, #Bachelorette11, #BIP3 #WORLDDOMINATION), but I think they could do better. Think “Prince Farming” for Chris Soules and “Juan-uary” for Juan Pablo. Here are my suggestions for Nick’s Bachelor slogan:
(PSA: I actually think Nick will be entertaining AF, but this was just too easy).
1. Sorry, Jen.
2. He like selfies, long walks on the beach in Paradise and gossiping about Josh Murray.
3. Help me help you promote SugarBearHair gummies.
4. There’s a 99% chance he’s going to sleep with half of you… before the fantasy suite.
5. Who wears short shorts? Nick V wears short shorts!
6. Nick V: He’ll make you feel like a woman. (He has references).
“He gave me passion and that womanly experience.” – Andi Dorfman
“He makes me feel like a woman — a desired woman.” – Kaitlyn Bristowe
7. It’s his turn to give out the roses… but somehow he’ll still probably get rejected.
8. Pick Nick! And get 12084 new siblings.
9. We hope you forgive us for not picking Luke.
10. Real men cry… just ask Nick V.
11. At least he’s not Chad.
12. Don’t judge a man until you see his Instagram.