Dear Lorde:

Lorde, I like you, so I want to give you a few tips (because I have so much experience in the music business).

1. Never. Dance. Again. I suggest sitting down while you perform or playing an instrument to keep your body from doing whatever the hell it was doing during your Grammy performance.

2. Prepare speeches so you don’t become the Kristen Stewart of the music industry. Awkward isn’t always charming.

3. Don’t overdo black. Dark hair, dark makeup and a dark dress is just going to encourage the witch/vampire/zombie/possessed jokes already out there. (PS: stay away from eyeliner. We don’t need another Jenny Humphrey on our hands).

4. Smile. You’re 17 and a Grammy award-winning recording artist.

Come on.


I dare you.



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