The Bachelor Ben H: Episode 4

Ben and his girlfriends are ditching their mansion and heading off to Sin City. And what
happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas when you have a million cameras and production team with you…

“Ben is my man. I hope he takes me to Celine Dion.” – Olivia, who is more delusional than ever

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“Ben is currently in the marriage capital of the world.” – Chris Harrison “OMG! We’re all going to get married! Polygamy! Sister wives!” – all of the girls who acted like Chris just said Ben was proposing

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“I feel like a baller in Vegas.” – Leah… who are you again?

Twins that workout on the treadmill together, stay together.

One-On-One JoJo’s Unoriginal Helicopter Date 

*Bachelor Interns plan date will guarantee a good gif*

“Another flying date where we can make sure the girls see you and get jealous! We are so smart.” – Bachelor producers

“But he’s my husband.” – Shut. Up. Olivia.

They took the girl who looks like Lucy Hale to the Aria hotel? Hmmm, this is A’s work.

“I watched you last season, and I know you felt unlovable, so now i feel unlovable.” – JoJo

“Also I have trust issues, so I will cut you if I’m not top 3.” – JoJo

“I’m sorry someone cheated on you. If we end up together, I will totally give you my Netflix password, but my phone, email and Ashley Madison account are going to stay private.” – Ben

Group Date: Talent Show 

“Ben’s totally had a nose job. We’re into it.” – The Twins

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“My only talent is being hot and blonde.” – Lauren B

…Isn’t Olivia’s talent her ability to open her mouth so wide?

“I’m super excited to see these girls open for me because they’re all super hot.” – Terry Fator

“I’m dressed as a chicken, so give me a rose.” – Lauren H

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Token panic attack. Drink.

“My talent is wearing a thong! Why doesn’t Ben love me!” – Olivia

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“I’m talking to you though my muppet because this is v uncomfortable.” – Ben

“I’m shy today, so I’m wearing a dress that shows my ass and I’m going to jump on you.” – Caila

“Caila’s like a sex panther.” – Ben… The one line ABC didn’t write for him

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“Let me hold my finger here seductively to get my ticket to Paradise.” – Olivia

Group Date Rose: Lauren B

One-On-One Becca’s Wedding

“OMG! A wedding dress! I wore one of these last season.” – Becca

The only people more desperate than the people who get married drunk in Vegas are the ones getting married sober in Vegas live on ABC.

“Let me put my hair in a half messy bun because I take this super seriously.” – Becca

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“Your season is totally better than Chris’ season.” Becca who came in 2ND PLACE last year. *RIP Farmer Chris’s heart*

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“You’re a virgin and I’m a small town religious dude, let’s do this.” – Ben

Two-On-One: Twinning 

“The producers have asked Ben to ask you to spend the day with him because he cannot tell you apart.” – Chris Harrison to Emily and Haley (Just learned their names)

I bet Emily planted those pictures of Haley and her ex-boyfriend in her room.

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“Idk if Ben can tell us apart, but I’m confident in our connection.” – Emily

“Emily’s super fun and will sleep with you, and Haley props won’t.” – The twin’s mom

“I’m going to pick Emily because she has a broken thumb that helps me remember who she is.” – Ben

Cocktail Party

“Hi, I’m—”- Jen

“BEN!” – Olivia strikes again

Token telling the Bachelor you’re falling for him too early. Drink.

“Blah, blah, blah, Ben touched my leg.” – Olivia

Eliminated: Unemployed Rachel, Veteran Bachelor Contestant Amber 

“Have they ever put anyone on a fourth season? What about a spin-off! Life isn’t far!” -crying Amber

Bachelor Live 

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Allison Williams met her husband at a Bachelor viewing party? GOALS.

Nascar Driver Denny Hamlin: “Are either of the twins still single?” … How do they get people to Skype this show?

There is a Church having a viewing party… You couldn’t write this better if you tried. #GodBlessBachelorNation

“It’s like paranormal activity and Chris Brown showed up.” direct quote from Michelle Collins about Michelle Money’s infamous black eye.

Until next week, mofos.

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