The most recent episode of The Bachelor was so dramatic I had to take an extra day before I reflected on it. It all started with the rose ceremony THEY DIDN’T SHOW US LAST WEEK (#stillbitter)…
Conversation with Olivia
“Are you a bitch?” – Ben
“Nah! I just like thinking.” -Olivia
“K. Good talk!” – Ben
Rose Ceremony #1
“I have no idea who will be going home tonight.” – Some girl I’ve never seen before who is definitely going home
“I can’t go home! I don’t have a job! I’m just a twin. AHHH!” – Twin freakout before she got the rose
“You’re going to make someone so happy. They will probably remember your name too.” – Ben to Jen #RIPBennifer3.0
One-On-One: Fisherman Caila
“BEDS! BAHAMAS! BEDS IN THE BAHAMAS! SISTER WIVES!” – all of the women
“Why am I here?” I want a one-on-one. Or at least Ben to compliment my eyebrows!” – Leah
There’s no way Caila actually taught this fish.
“I live 10 minutes from Ben in Indiana! Doesn’t he know love is about convenience?!” – Leah’s def had like 7 mimosas
“I feel like I love you! But I’m scared to hurt you. I feel understood by you! I mean, what do you want me to say to get a rose?!” – Caila
“I don’t understand a single thing you’re saying right now, but you’re pretty.”- Ben gives Caila the rose even though SHE. MAKES. NO. SENSE.
Group Date: Swimming Pigs
“I have hot dogs to feed the pigs, ladies!” – Ben “Hmmm…” – all 6 women “Hot dogs are made out of chicken, y’all! Don’t worry!” – Ben
“The girls are having a blast!” – Ben *cut to every girl screaming and crying*
These pigs are huge. They totally have cankles.
“Why isn’t everyone getting along and taking turns making out with me in the ocean?” – Ben
“I like eating pigs… why don’t we go on and one-on-one date with bacon?” – Leah to Ben
“Idk what’s going on!” “Idk either!” This convo with Ben and Becca is so deep.
“I know I just said this to the girl before you, but I mean it this time!”- Ben trying to comfort all of the girls at the pig afterparty
“I’M JUST AS PRETTY AS LAUREN B! I’M JUST AS SMART AS LAUREN B! I’M JUST AS BLONDE AS LAUREN B! WHY DON’T WE ALL JUST STAB LAUREN B!” – Leah
“No. We’re buying Team Lauren B shirts.” – Ben and all of the girls
Group date rose: Amanda
“You guys have a strong connection! I know this because we don’t!” – Emily comforting Lauren B
“Love me!!!” – Leah “No.” – Ben
Two-On-One: Hurricane Olivia
This weather is not a coincidence. The Weather Channel better name the next storm Olivia.
“I’m smart! I promise! I’m so smart. Deep, intellectual things are my jam.” – Olivia… I actually didn’t make up the last part of that.
“Also, I’m like so in love with you.” – Olivia
The wind is low key ruining this epic dump.
“Bye Felicia.” – Ben
Ben has a career as a hairdresser in his future.
“I WANT YOU TO BE THERE WHEN MY TWIN AND I GET A CAREER! I WANT YOU TO BE THERE!” – Emily
And now, Olivia starts her journey on Survivor: Reality TV Villains.
Ben is angsty AF.
Eliminated: Lauren H (aka the blonde school teacher who you keep forgetting was still there).
Tune in on Sunday for the
mystery Jade and Tanner’s wedding that has been posted about all over the internet!