The Only 2016 Grammy Awards Recap You Need To Read

Ah, the Grammys. When the biggest names in music get drunk and judge each other’s performances. It’s a true award season highlight (and a nice break to see the Biebs instead of the Clooney).

1. Taylor Swift’s look screams modern day American Girl doll.

2. LL Cool J is wearing a brooch that says “LL” because everyone forgets who he is every commercial break.



3. “To Pimp a Butterfly” just won a Grammy and dads everywhere just texted their daughters to make sure they are not Kendrick Lamar fans.


4. Sam Hunt and Carrie Underwood are basically Ken and Barbie.


5. Chrissy Teigen is all of us once the first cocktail kicks in. (And looks better pregnant than we do on our skinniest day).


6. Even Ariana Grande’s ponytail is sick of Ariana Grande’s ponytail.


7. The Weeknd’s performance was great, but his hair is still so distracting. Does he wear it like this to be as tall as Bella Hadid? Does he have to buy a special shampoo? Is his hair so big because it’s full of secrets? #ImportantQs


8. This is a petition for Ellie Goulding and Andra Day to start a girl band.


9. Chris Stapleton is scared to be the subject of Bad Blood 2.0.


10. Demi Lovato SLAYS. Selena just ditched the Grammys for voice lessons to win the inevitable Barney and Friends reboot.


11. I would vote for Stevie Wonder for Prez over anyone else running.


12. Lena Dunham’s boyfriend is classy AF. (Who am I kidding, I would do the same thing).


Don’t judge, Selena.


13. Thanks to the Grammys that is the only 5 minutes of Hamilton any of us will ever see. #SoldOut5ever


14. I think the dude in Alabama Shakes stole his bandmate’s hair and started to wear it as a beard.


15. Bruno Mars looks like a Disney villain.


16. Who do we think messed with the sound to screw up Adele’s performance?


A. The cast of Hamilton 

B. Taylor Swift

C. LL Cool J

D. All of the above 

17. Justin Bieber’s mustache is made out of your mom’s chest hair.


18. The real winner tonight is Meghan Trainor’s hair.


*Turns off Grammys until last 5 minutes to see Beyonce*


19. Tori Kelly is totes team Katy Perry.


Breaking news: T Swift cried because the attention was not all on her. (Or because she missed a note in her song… I believe my theory).


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