The Bachelor Ben: Episode 9

Just when you think it doesn’t get any better than hometowns, the fantasy suite happens. Ben and his ladies all have a chance to spend the night with their “boyfriend” (not all together… this isn’t HBO!) and confess that they’re falling in love. Normally the Bachelor or Bachelorette refrains from responding to the infamous “I love you,” but not Ben. Ben is a committed polygamist Bachelor. Ben was so ready to find love… he did it twice!

“Jamaica is like paradise.” Didn’t anyone tell Ben that paradise was in Mexico with an open bar and a bartender named Jorge?


“Jamaica is a great place to fall in love. Twice.” – Ben

“Ben, I want my pink shirt back!” – Damien from Mean Girls watching this

Ben reflecting on his journey to find love at a swamp is really romantic. Def a good sign for his future wife.

“I’m going to prove my manliness by climbing these rocks, watch!” – Ben to the producers after he cried 4 times last week

Caila’s Date

“Is it too late to kick Caila off this boat and invite Lauren B?” – Ben

I don’t know if it’s the music or the editing, but this date is so awkward I almost can’t watch. Except I can’t look away…

“All of my other relationships felt wrong, and this feels right.” Caila’s a total girl’s girl… her Sister Wive relationship feels right.

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“Even though I’m pretty sure I don’t want to pick Caila, I want her to cry and let me know she loves me.” – Ben

“I love you, Ben!” – Caila “Ahhhh…” – Ben’s deep breath. “I know he loves me too because I can feel it in his breath!” – Caila

Did Ben pop a breath mint in between kisses or is Caila just crazy?

“Yes! I love that people are in love with me! Thank god she stopped acting reserved before the fantasy suite.” – Ben.

These fireworks are totes necessary.


“I could wake up in the morning and know that Caila is the one for me. Or the sex could be terrible.” – Ben

Lauren’s Date

“It’s a little weird to spend the night with Caila and then hang out with Lauren B. But somehow I’ll handle it.” – Ben is a true #hero

LB’s (do you think she minds if I call her LB?) got nothing to hide in those shorts.

“Don’t cry. Don’t cry.” – Ben talking to himself after his heartfelt conversation with the sea turtles

I would give my final rose to Mel and release turtles for the rest of my life.

“Ben, you’re a perfect ben.” – Lauren “Lauren, you’re the best Lauren that showed up on this season.” – Ben

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These two are actually so cute and I hate myself for caring.

“The fantasy suite is so pretty!” – Lauren “I know! I was here yesterday.” – Ben

“I love you, Ben!” – Lauren “OMG! I’ve been dying to hear you say that! I didn’t want to say it first! I LOVE YOU, LET’S RUN AWAY TOGETHER.” – Ben

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JoJo’s Date

“After last night, if I don’t have the same feelings for JoJo that I do for Lauren, I’m going to have to send her home.” – Ben

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“Ben!” – JoJo “JoJo, I love you!” – Ben

I think JoJo saw Lauren’s shorts and the two are battling it out for a new Nair commercial.

Do you think Chad is watching? Do you think Ben loves him too?

“I’ve never seen a waterfall.” – JoJo “I’ve never seen an episode of The Bachelor.” – Ben


“Can you believe we’re here?” -JoJo  “Yes, I’ve been here for five days.”-Ben

“I love you, Ben.” – JoJo “I love you too, JoJo.” – Ben “WAIT! I wouldn’t have said it if I knew you could say it back. Damn it.” – JoJo

“I’m having flashbacks to my date with Lauren.” Ben, that’s called guilt.

“You’re so cute!” “No, you’re so cute!” I want to puke.

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I wonder what intern taught Ben the word enthralled.

Caila (remember her? #TBT) Returns:

“I want to see Ben and remind him that I’m funny and cute and charming! Also my abs look good in this crop top.” – Caila

“Shit. Her abs do look good.” – Ben

“I’m in love with two women here. And you’re not one of them. Bye Felicia.” – Ben

“Oh. Ok.” – Caila

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GO CAILA! YOU TELL HIM! Oh, wait. That ended up being super lame. She should have used Nick V’s line “Why did you make love to me if you weren’t in love with me?” It works every time.

At least Caila has a pretty crying face. And you know, her life whole ahead of her since she’s only 24 years old.

Rose Ceremony (Which is unnecessary since there’s two girls left)

“I feel so confident. Ben told me he loved me.” – Lauren

“Apparently that doesn’t mean much in Ben’s world.” – Chris Harrison who low key wants to stab Ben.


“Right now I have two true loves.” Ben doesn’t know what love is. #NotBlessed

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If I was one of these girls, I would pinch the other one during the group hug.

I think Cody from Sister Wives should host this show next season.

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