We were only married for two months. 60 days. So I beat Kim.

The quote above proves that MJ is the best Kardashian of them all. On last week’s Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kris’s mom was touring Kourtney’s new house and ended up talking about her high school sweetheart. She explained they were only married for two months and poked fun at Kim’s infamous 72 day marriage. She also eat a marijuana gummy bear and made the whole world wish she was their gma.

TVQOTW Runner Up: “I wanna thank Dylan because I as a woman and every woman here deserves 100% and a man that’s gonna fight for her. I know that you know that life brings a lot of things. Life brings ups and downs and I know that myself and every woman here deserves someone that’s gonna be there through thick and thin in sickness and health.”

The Runner Up this week is another reason to watch Bachelor in Paradise. It’s Elise’s speech ramble and an attempt to explain why she was “happy” (aka upset and insane) Dylan didn’t accept her rose. This is the same woman who made out with someone in the ocean, while also trying to convince Dylan they were meant to be (even after he said he didn’t like her 10 times). #YOPO (You Only Paradise Once).

Bonus: “Minkus!” “Topanga!” “Stewart.” “Topanga!”

Watch last week’s Girl Meets World and don’t be ashamed you’re smiling from ear to ear watching Disney Channel.