Hello, 911? I forgot how to breath. And there’s giant… fruit.

Fall TV has been SO good lately, I needed FOUR TV quotes of the week! There’s so many quality dramas, comedies and reality shows that full up my DVR each week, and I just couldn’t eliminate any of my faves. The top spot this week belongs to Judge Rebecca Wright from Bad Judge. Kate Walsh has proved to be a comedy genius in this role, and when her character eats pot brownies, she calls 911 for breathing help. This show is basically  drunk Addison Montgomery, and I highly recommend tuning in (plus Dick from Veronica Mars is in it!).

TVQOTW Runner Up: “Just, you know, taking in the sights, buying a wein.” -David Rosen

While I’ll always love the scandalous storylines in Scandal, the one liners have really stolen the show lately. This past week my friends and I rewatched David at the hotdog stand too many times to count, and the use of “wein” for hotdog was too much for us to handle.

Bonus quote: “I can say, ‘Yeah, I’m falling for her big time.’ Do I love her, as to tell her, ‘I love you?’ No.” -Juan Pablo

Former Bachelor Juan Pablo and his winner Nikki Ferrell have traded in roses for therapy on VH1’s Couples Therapy, and– shocker– Juan Pablo still hasn’t told Nikki he loves her (he refused to say those three little words in the Bachelor finale) and he’s still an idiot. I just wish Nikki would pull a Blair Waldorf and deny him until he mans up.

DOUBLE bonus quote: “If you were a man, I would knock your teeth out.” -John Rocker from Survivor

The drama on Survivor this season is top notch, and I’m happy I decided to randomly watch again after years of living Survivor-free. Seriously though, this season of Blood vs Water is more The Real World meets The Kardashians than Survivor.