Celebrity Memoirs: The Only Thing We Read Besides US Weekly and Our Twitter Feed

The basic rule of thumb is if you are a celebrity who has A) played a popular character on TV B) gone through a public scandal or C) dated (and broke up with) someone more famous than you, you get a book deal. And if you’re A) an obsessive fan of [insert show/celebrity here] B) stuck at the airport with nothing else to do or C) anything like me, you read these books.

I recently bought Melissa Joan Hart’s new memoir “Melissa Explains it All,” and I’ll admit I skip through it until I see a celebrity name or TV show. It’s been interesting to read her tales of being a child star on Clarissa Explains it All and Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and reminds me of the reruns I used to watch on Nickelodeon and ABC Family. She also tells stories of auditioning and working with other actors, so any 90s kids should check it out (Sarah Michelle Gellar, Drew Barrymore (during her rehab days) and Macaulay Culkin to name drop a few).

I’ve read all of Tori Spelling’s memoirs and will be the first to admit she’s made me laugh out loud. She’s brutally honest, her kids that she includes pictures of are cute and most importantly– she isn’t afraid of hating on other celebs/costars. I’m hoping she is currently writing a new book to explain what’s going on with her husband Dean– it would make a good sequel to the book Dean’s first wife wrote: Divorce Sucks: My Husband Left Me For Tori Spelling. Her 90210 costar Jennie Garth has a new book coming out, and I’m ready to compare stories from their days in Beverly Hills.

Miley Cyrus wrote a book during her Hannah Montana days, and while the chapter about her break-up with Nick Jonas makes it worth reading, I’m looking forward to the book she inevitability puts out in 20 years when she tells us the truth about her “We Can’t Stop” days (if Miley doesn’t write it, I’m hoping her “best friend” Leslie does). Stephanie from Full House wrote a book about being an alcoholic and drug addict, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t read as many chapters as Amazon would let me without buying it.

I could go on forever because there’s a lot of washed up (in the BEST way possible) actresses and ex- Disney stars (Demi Lovato’s book is on the way to my dorm in Ohio) with books out there. Plus you can’t go wrong with any book written by a comedian– Tina Fey, Chelsea Handler, Mindy Kaling– and half of the cast of Glee has books, but I’d avoid those unless you want to start singing Don’t Stop Believing on a daily basis (and nobody wants that).

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